Can’t Sleep? How to Cure Insomnia Quickly!
As a psychologist, I am in the business of helping people to live their best lives and teaching them to cope well. I teach people relaxation techniques, how to challenge unhelpful and destructive patterns of thinking, how to communicate better in relationships, and so on and so forth. While all of that is valuable, if someone asked me what the number one thing was that most people could do to cope better and live happier lives, my answer would be simple: Sleep.
Why do we need sleep?
Sleep is a basic need, yet one we tend to skimp on when life’s demands become overwhelming. The consequences of insomnia are significant, both on emotional and physical health. Lack of sleep can increase the risk for mental health disorders and it impairs daytime functioning. Not to mention, it puts a damper on people’s mood. Dr. Zakarin, a psychologist, stated that “sleep deprivation studies show that otherwise healthy people can experience increased anxiety and distress levels following poor sleep. Those with mental health disorders are even more likely to experience chronic sleep problems and, in turn, these sleep problems are likely to exacerbate psychiatric symptoms and even increase risk for suicide.” In fact, insomnia doubles the risk for future depression.
How to get getter sleep
Below I have outlined ten things you can do to improve your sleep. These things don’t require any fancy techniques or medicine. They do require motivation and commitment to the process, as changing your sleep patterns will take time and intentional adjustments in your routine. These recommendations are directly based off of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia.
How to fix circadian rhythm
First and foremost, keep a regular bedtime and wake time- Do you know anyone who is a night owl? Or a morning lark? We have a natural window when we start feeling tired and this is dictated by our biological clock. Everyone’s clock is a little different, but we all have one. A lot of us push right past that time frame to get some extra time with our partner, some alone time, or to get all the things done now that the kids are in bed. An irregular bedtime and/ or wake time weakens the signals that our brain receives from our biological clock.
Remedy: Start to be mindful of when your biological clock is sending you signals it’s time for bed. This means you need to learn the cues that you are becoming sleepy.Your optimal bedtime is in that natural window. The same rules and logic apply to your wake time.
Sleep Hygiene Tips: 9 Ways to Get Better Sleep
Get out of bed when you can’t sleep- Have you ever had trouble falling asleep or been awake for hours in the middle of the night? Most people who have this experience toss and turn in their beds for hours. They get on their cell phones, watch a show, or stare at the ceiling getting angrier and angrier as they watch the clock and calculate how little sleep they are going to get before their alarm goes off.
Simple Sleep Solution:
While I too have given into the temptation to lay in my bed for hours despite not sleeping, all we are doing is conditioning our bed for wakefulness. Instead, get up and out of bed. Go to another room (if that’s possible), keep the lights low, and do something boring. Fold laundry, color, or read a book you’ve read half a dozen times. Then go back to bed when you are sleepy. It’s important that your bed (and ideally your bedroom in general) is associated with sleep and not wakefulness.
2. The bed should only be for sleep and physical intimacy- Do you snack in bed? Watch TV? Get work done on your laptop while lounging in your bed? If so, it’s time for some new rules.
Simple Sleep Solution:
Take the food to the kitchen and your laptop to your desk. This goes back to the premise that your bed needs to be associated with sleep and not much else. The exception to this rule is physical intimacy.
3. Cut down on the caffeine- When you decide to hit the hay, your tank needs to be running on empty. You need to be tired. Things like caffeine don’t deplete your tank, they refill it.
Simple Sleep Solution:
Keep the caffeine intake at a reasonable amount and ideally don’t consume anymore after about noon.
4. Increase exercise- With the goal in mind of going to bed with an empty tank, staying active helps to deplete energy throughout the day.
Simple Sleep Solution:
So, grab your running shoes or yoga mat and get moving. If traditional exercise doesn’t feel accessible, think about how to get more movement throughout your day. This might mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator or standing up at your desk rather than sitting all day.
5. Avoid daytime napping- I know people who nap love their naps. Before you disregard this one, hear me out. Napping decreases sleep drive because it is another way, similar to caffeine, to replenish energy and to fill your tank. I recommend cutting out naps unless this would be dangerous due to medical concerns or other unique issues that you might experience.
Simple Sleep Solution:
If you are going to keep your nap, here are some rules to follow. Set a timer and nap no more than 20 minutes, nap in your bed, and take your nap earlier in the day. The further it is from bedtime the less disruptive it will be.
6. Create a relaxing bedtime routine- For most people who have raised little kids, there is usually a bedtime routine. This might include a bath, reading books together, saying prayers, etc. As adults we don’t suddenly lose the need for a routine. We just get overwhelmed and are often too tired to prioritize what would be healthy for us.
Simple Sleep Solution:
Create a relaxing bedtime routine. Turn down the lights, turn off the electronics, and start to settle your brain and your body. This might include reading a book, taking a hot shower or bath, or putting on your favorite lotion. Make a predictable routine and stick to it.
7. Don’t worry or plan in bed- This one is easier said than done. With all of the adult responsibilities, it is easy to worry and to become anxious about what’s on the agenda for the next day or the upcoming week. Keep your bed a safe, worry free space. Take the worrying to another room.
Simple Sleep Solution:
Use strategies like scheduled worry time and relaxation techniques. Scheduled worry time is exactly what it sounds like. Set aside 15 minutes where you allow yourself to worry about all the things on your mind. Once the timer goes off, shift gears and get busy with something else. To learn more specific techniques for managing anxiety, I highly suggest therapy.
8. Create an environment that is conducive for sleep- Is your bed comfortable? Are you too hot or too cold? Is your partner stealing the covers or keeping you up all night with their incessant snoring? Is it dark enough? Are the pets in your room keeping you awake?
Simple Sleep Solution:
Your environment has a lot to do with your ability to sleep. Remedy the problems that you can and find ways to work with what you can’t solve at the moment.
9. Address underlying medical problems- Quality of sleep can be deeply impacted by medical concerns like untreated Sleep Apnea, Restless Leg Syndrome, Chronic Pain, etc. In the case of medical concerns, making the changes suggested above will fall short without remedying the medical problem.
Simple Sleep Solution:
Find a medical provider you trust, get assessed, and develop a treatment plan.
Relationship Advice for Women
As always, thanks for reading! We are all about teaching people, especially women, who to have more satisfying relationships. Sleeping better is so important because it gives us more bandwidth to deal with all our important relationships. Sign up for our newsletter to receive our newest blogs right to your inbox!
References:
Morin CM, Jarrin DC. Epidemiology of Insomnia: Prevalence, Course, Risk Factors, and Public Health Burden. Sleep Med Clin. 2022 Jun;17(2):173-191. doi: 10.1016/j.jsmc.2022.03.003. Epub 2022 Apr 23. PMID: 35659072.
Roth, T. Insomnia: Definition, Prevalence, Etiology, and Consequences. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. 2019 Nov. https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.26929
https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/how-sleep-deprivation-affects-your-mental-health
